Thursday, May 03, 2007

A Calm Day On A Stormy Sea

As I 've recently mentioned, my wife and I have stopped smoking. Yes, we both feel much better for doing so.

Well, sort of.

My mind feels clearer, and things taste better. I don’t stink of tobacco.

But I still find myself out of breath when running around with my daughters. And I still cough.

And my nerves are shot. Shot right to hell.

It's a stressful time right now. With our house closing approaching and a 13 year project closing down, my nerves would be frazzled anyway.

As the air traffic controller from the "Airplane" movie would say: "I picked a lousy time to quit smoking!"

Today though, is much different. Today, my nerves are not frazzled. Today I find life quite … mellow.

"How could this be, Fred? You have been so high strung lately?" you might ask.

Well, I made a mistake this morning.

This morning I woke up with a typical spring allergies sinus headache. And I thought since my allergens were not helping, instead I would take a Sudafed capsule.

So at 5:30am I got up from a not so well rested sleep, went into the kitchen, and poured a cup of coffee. I reached up in the medicine cupboard and found what I thought was a Sudafed, put it in my mouth, and took a sip of coffee. Then I and my coffee sauntered back into the bedroom where I sat up and watched the morning sport scores station.

A muffled voice arose from the pile of pillows next to me. "What were you doing in the kitchen?" asked my still sleeping registered nurse of a wife.

"Getting a coffee. Want one?"

"Nah … what were you doing in the medicine cupboard?"

"Getting a Sudafed"

"Huh .. I thought we were out of those", the clinical side starting to wake up in her.

"Well, I found one" I replied.

"What did it look like?"

Now I am starting to get agitated with the questioning. "2 part capsule, red on one side, pink on the other part."

"Uh … H E LL OOO" – said my wife in that tone that means she is about to prove to me that I am an idiot and I should not even try to deny it.

"That was not a Sudafed!"

"No? What was it."

"It was a Resteril."

"A what-er-il?"

"Resteril" she repeated. "You just took 15 mg of a potent sleeping pill. I guess you better call in sick today!"

Crap.

"We’ll see how I feel after a shower". The alarm clock went off several minutes later, and I shut it off, and got up to feed the girls. ‘Funny, but my knees feel like rubber – and man are my legs heavy?’ I thought to myself.

In the shower, I caught myself meditating – focused on a single spot of tile – several times. 35 minutes later I turned off the faucet.

"I feel ok" I said convincing myself.

Another 45 minutes later and we are scrambling out the door to drop the girls off at school and then head on the expressway to work.

As I pulled in the parking spot at the office I realized I did not remember driving there. But I am here, safe and sound. I checked the front seat to see if there were any traffic tickets I didn’t remember getting.

The rest of the day so far has gone very well. I have felt no nicotine related angst. Quite calm and serene! Quite nice for a change! In fact I have received a couple of nice compliments.

Now that I know what a Resteril looks like, I will skip those and resume my allergen prescription.

But it was nice calm for awhile amid the stormy sea.

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