Thursday, April 01, 2010
Roughing It Easter Weekend
My lovely wife Darlene has plans for this long holiday weekend.
An organization she belongs to has a big meeting and eventful gatherings out of town this long Easter weekend.
Lousy timing eh? Who holds events like this on Easter weekend?
But she never gets a chance to go away to things like this. She needs a break from us. She needs to get out of the house.
So it's me and my two daughters roughing it this Easter holiday.
Roughing it, I guess, if that's what you call enjoying an absolutely beautiful four day weekend out on the deck and working around the yard.
Roughing it – if that's how you describe a bar fridge full of beer and pool table begging for players.
Roughing it - if you consider sitting out in the warm sun and cool breezes under the patio umbrella listening to Tigers baseball to be an inconvenience.
Then we will be roughing it.
Oh sure, we'll miss Mommy.
But it does leave me with all the housework to be done this weekend.
But loading a dishwasher isn't that tough.
I think Alannah and Ashley-Rae are about to learn how to push a vacuum cleaner, how to use a feather duster, and how to separate their laundry into colors and whites.
They will earn their keep this weekend.
We're not going to let this Easter without my lovely wife Darlene here get us down.
But there's a lot to do first thing tomorrow.
That back deck has to be unpacked and set up for proper sitting for when the ball game comes on.
And that barbecue has to get taken apart – scrubbed down – and put back together for barbecue hamburgers Saturday night.
And then there is the Jeep that needs a good wash and wax, and a shampoo and wipe-down of the interior.
And my golf clubs won't get cleaned up by themselves.
Then there's the fertilizer (the good stuff) that has to go on the lawn Saturday evening before the Sunday showers come so it can wash down into the soil.
And those damned flower beds and gardens need a good raking out to get the winter stones and leaves out.
And that lawn mower needs a once over too.
And there's the banking and grocery shopping to be done. And the screen door needs to go on the front, and the storm glass door stashed away in the garage.
There're also Easter eggs that need painting too.
My faithful black lab Suzy needs a bath, she stinks right now. And she needs a good brushing too.
Hmm, there's quite a bit to do.
I hope I have enough beer – I'll have to celebrate the successful completion of these tasks somehow.
But wait, I can't be drinking beer all day while I'm home with my girls. That's not a good idea. Perhaps I'll only have a beer after I achieve the really big jobs.
But who will tell me to get off my butt and get started on all this work?
I am a master procrastinator, you know, a skill that usually serves me very well.
But all great procrastinators need a great nagger to stand behind them and remind them of that fine line between procrastination, and lazy beer drinking bum.
And my great nagger will be nowhere to be found.
Darlene will have her cell phone though.
She has me on speed dial of course. And it costs her nothing to call my cell phone. Maybe she can call me every forty five minutes to "encourage me".
What the hell am I saying?
You know, it's not really that important that the deck be all set up, come to think of it.
The Jeep isn't really that dirty, if I park it in the shade.
And fertilizing the front lawn would be nice to get done, but it is only April first. There's plenty of time to do that before I put the new seed down.
And I won't be cutting the grass for a couple more weeks … I hope.
And I think I might just cover the garden beds down with stone or woodchips this year.
And Suzy doesn't stink that bad … really.
But I do need that backyard deck patio furniture set up. Where else would I sit and listen to the ball game?
So that leaves the vacuuming, the dusting, the laundry and the dishes. And those girls better not try to talk their way out of it.
They never even clean their rooms.
They can be so damned lazy sometimes.
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